panic!

I had a panic attack on Thursday and Friday. I didn’t get much of anything done - I couldn’t sleep at night and I just wanted to sleep all day. I was really scared about doing this film on my credit cards. And I kept thinking about how Jason had said to me, during the read-through, that if the budget is supposed to be $24,000, be prepared to go to $40,000. I still feel wary of doing it but I’m going to do it anyway - it’s too late to turn back now. I feel that a smart thing would have been to wait until I sell a screenplay or something and then spend money I have on a film rather than risk my credit. I’m still young right? There’s no harm in waiting, right? Well it’s too late now, the ball’s in motion and I have to see it through. Hopefully the film will be some sort of success and this will all have been worth the effort and the gamble. We’ve got the story. We’ll see.

I met Jason Friday night at Finelli’s in Soho and gave him three scripts for a friend Karen and a couple of actors (he called today and said he needs more already). Karen (don’t know her last name) works for Robert DeNiro and may be leaving soon so Jason has asked her to come on board as Production Manager. She might work if Dianne Collins, her friend, produces. Jason said he talked to Dianne as well (I dropped off a script to her last week - she called back to say she liked it but I didn’t talk to her) and she was interested. If they can come on board and actually do the producing work, freeing me up to storyboard and work with the Actors and Spencer, then I’ll get excited. Until then I’m still doing everything and I’m the only person I trust (I trust Jason though).

Jason said he also knows a big still photographer who may work on the film for us. I’m excited about what he’s told me about her so far, she sounds fantastic and has some clout to get the pictures in interesting places, promoting the film for us in different ways (like her own website for example which I don’t know yet).

I called a director of documentaries who was listed in the Hudson Valley Film Guide to ask him if he wanted an AD job. He didn’t sound interested in working but he was excited about the project and said he teaches an acting class up there and will have his actors send me headshots. That’s a plus - local talent is better to use as far as I’m concerned.

I also reached an old college chum and someone I used to know in high-school. The college chum is probably going to be away during the time we’re shooting but the high-school buddy might be interested. I sent her a script and she said she’d think it over. She’s an Assistant Camera person who’s Arri-certified I believe. She said if she can’t Asst. Camera or AD (I need an AD and offered her the position so she can move towards production where she’s interested in going - I still have to see if Karen will be Unit Production Manager (UPM) before I offer that one to her) she could recommend someone to me. So we’ll see.

So today I made a character sheet listing all the parts I still need actors for. I’ll fax it to Jason and Andy because Jason said they could take care of that for me. Then I started making a schedule. I have to talk to the special fx guys before I can complete it though because I don’t know how long that stuff will actually take. I know we said two days but I don’t know if we can shoot the entire scenes that involve gunfighting and squibs or if we have to just shoot the guns getting fired and people blowing up because that will eat up the whole day.

So it’s all still moving. To take a break, I walked across the street by myself and watched Ulee’s Gold. Good movie. Very nice. I came home and had to eat a spoonful of honey. Great stuff.

My mom's said she can get hat's made of a sick-little Pig Farm logo I drew up a couple of months ago. I'm sending the first one to someone who saw this website and is sending me $100. Hopefully it'll be a collectors item for her. If I can I'll take a picture of the hat and put it on this page so people can see what their donations will get them. It's a cool, high-quality hat - stitched not silk-screened. I'll hopefully have a letters section up soon. Adios.